Below are samples of both "good" and "bad" personal statements as provided by the UW School of Medicine Department of Family Medicine.
Good Statement
What makes this statement better than the "bad" statement is the degree of reflective thinking. Rather than reporting events and activities, the student goes beyond to pick out themes that are important to family medicine and that fit into the student's own value system: continuity of care, interdisciplinary care, and shared decision making with patients.
"Building long-term relationships with patients is the most attractive aspect of medicine to me. My earliest impression of medicine came from my physician who cared for my siblings and I throughout our childhood. Through our years of interactions with him, our family felt we could trust him to understand our needs when we were sick and when we were well. Upon entering medical school, I knew I wanted to find a specialty that values the importance of continuity of care. For me, Family Medicine is that specialty.
Having spent most of my life in a rural environment, I see myself as a family physician in a rural area providing full spectrum care. During my family medicine clerkship, I had the opportunity to see how a group of family medicine practitioners faced the challenges of providing care to rural population. While the practitioners worked very hard to serve their patients, they had enough foresight to recognize that a 15-minute clinic visit is not always enough to ensure thorough care and engage patients on a wellness path. To provide this kind of care, the clinic worked with other health care disciplines, such as home health nurses and health educators to ensure that their patients were receiving the best possible care, both in the clinic and at home. The clinic started group visits for diabetic patients. Patients would meet with their shared physician, a nurse, and a dietician to exchange basic information with each other and these practitioners. These two initiatives were successful and demonstrate that in the changing healthcare environment, it is important to be multidisciplinary, innovative, and creative in approaching patient care.
As an undergraduate and as a medical student, I also participated in community service activities that sought to educate older patients. These education events informed our audience on a variety of wellness topics, including proper nutrition and exercise. Through information sharing, we hoped that these individuals would have the tools to make informed decisions about their health in the future. As a family physician, I feel that these opportunities are an essential part of forming a therapeutic alliance with my patients. I carry these invaluable patient services and experiences in my mind and want to offer these types of services and innovations to my patients in the future.
The breadth of knowledge necessary to be a good family physician is expansive, but the reward of being able to serve all types of patients makes it a worthy challenge. I look forward to residency training as an exciting opportunity to continue the learning process as part of a team. The opportunity to learn to care for patients of all ages and needs alongside other physicians and residents with similar ideals and goals is inspiring to me."
Bad Statement
This statement lacks the depth of reflective insight that the “good” sample demonstrates. In addition, the student makes a number of statements that don't seem to have any clear backing. For example, the student says "I am experienced and comfortable working with people of different ages, genders, and cultural identities." but there's no discussion of how this experience and comfort came about or what this means to the student.
"I am applying for a residency position in Family Medicine because I want to work closely with patients. When envisioning a career in medicine, I have always pictured taking care of families and building long-term relationships with patients. I feel that family medicine fits my personality and my career goals. The broad focus of the specialty is particularly challenging to me. I am very interested in staying in the Pacific Northwest and XXX residency program would be a perfect match for my educational objectives.
I have worked hard to develop skills and qualifications that have prepared me to become a good family physician. I am experienced and comfortable working with people of different ages, genders, and cultural identities. I especially enjoyed my third year clerkship in family medicine as it gave me an opportunity to expand and further develop my skills. I have sought additional training opportunities to help improve my clinical and interpersonal skills. These have included sub-internships in family medicine and internal medicine.
In addition to my studies, I have participated in a number of volunteer activities. These have included the CHAP Derm clinic, and volunteering at a local soup kitchen. I feel that these activities have given me an understanding of the health issues facing those less fortunate. In my future practice, I forsee myself working with patients from all walks of life.
In summary, I feel that I would be a good match for your residency program. I possess both the drive and zeal to successfully complete a residency in family medicine. I hope that you will agree that I would be a good fit for your program."
May 2007